Disclamer: The author bears no responsibilty to any kind of refrences to anyone's personal "About Me:" sections of orkut! Any such resemblances found, shall be considered purely co-incidental. However the following 'Resource Material" can be used by anyone to ameliorate their personal profiles. The author doesn't claim the originality of the content published below (excpet the comments in the braces). The comments expressed by the author is purely his own, and should not be taken in a serious sense. The author wishes to make it clear that the article below is purely for phun and is not intended to hurt anyone's feelings!

Hi folks, I read them, laughed at them & really appreciated a few of them as well. U know what orkut does nurture insanity, while it also shelters a few real gud orkuttians. Yes I am talking abt those insane, funny, stupid and a few rare too gud ones in the about me: section of orkut! I have put together a bunch of them which I have caught my attention. A few ones are too gud. I have posted them all below:

* Superman + Heman + Hercules + Spiderman + Shakthimaan + Atlas + Batman + Krissh + my own outfit = ME (A multi starrer package ha!).

* Over Clocking the Brain (Sure to get cracked someday!)

* Nobody's perfect and I am nobody! (Like they say, ur enemy's enemy is ur friend)

* I am the sum total of the remainders of all unbalanced equations, the eventuality of an anomaly. Iam the nearest real rational approximation of some very large complex irrationality. (Dunno what to comment on this!)

* Yo yo well iffff u really wanna know me....u gotta spend some time with me...im a medico...cool n clever...friendly n im a die-hard fan of john cena....i live my life like his theory of wordlife...ur time is up,my time is now !!! the champ is here..

* A big freaker....Complete Otla..

* Check it before you wreck it. (Is that a statutory warning?)

* I WaS BoRn InTeLlIgEnT ...............B-)
EdUcAtIoN RuInEd Me !!!! (Well said buddy!)

* I'm "sin"cere...in"no"cent...(How about a $?)

* Oxymoronic (Sure the guy seemed self contradictory in his profile!)

* kahan hoon main??????

kaun hoon main????

oh oh oh ...all i remember is i'am suffering frm amnesia!!!!

(I dunno how many times did this guy has watched BLACK?)

* Easily distracted by good music and shiny objects. (Himesh Reshammiya's fan I guess!)

* The worlds best psychiatrists did reasearch on me ....and this was there result: 'PAGE NOT FOUND'. Sorry to dissappoint u
ppl......
(An internet Geek I believe...)

* Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend
!!! DatteBayoooo !!! [:P] ......


* Bure bure hum hum hum shekh hum..zara zara bachna re humse (Gulshan Grover type, BAD MAN)

* Crazy,Convoluted...Unpredictable, impulsive..wait till you hear A-Z...;)!Opinionated but not without reason.rude at times,sometimes moody.Self effacing but not without pride.Somewhat lazy, so end up working twice as hard and twice as much.Often misunderstood, in spite of (i think) being pretty articulate,basically if i can't amaze people with my intelligence,i confuse them with my bullshit..

* jυѕт вє¢αυѕє ι'м ѕмαят ∂σєѕ ησт мєαη тнαт уσυ αяє ѕтυρι∂. (Is it Russian?)

* Currently a "NATIONAL WASTE"......
aspiring to go "GLOBAL" soon. (Call the garbage disposal squad immediately, we have found a potential client!)

* The most friendly and smartest and witty and and and..... (Lemme guess the rest, DUMB, Idiosyncratic, weird, nuts n bolts,
would that suffice!)
* If u want to know me, then first understand the basics of electronics. (Wow! seems like some GRE entrance test ha!!!)

* Remember the name-----> " M *** "

This is...

10 % Luck

20 % Skill

15 % Concentrated Power of Will

5 % Pleasure

50 % Pain !!

And a 100 % reason to remember the name.......

* I am very concentrated guy! (A chemistry freak, 80% HCl, 10% H2SO4, 5% HNO3 and the rest is under research!)

* Hmmmmmmm......EXPLODE n EXPLORE..is wat i BELEIVE...(Call the bomb diffusion squad!).

* What can i say... words aren't enough to describe me ! (Well try mimes, I can follow them!)

* A soul in tension that’s learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Can’t keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I....

[(c) Pink Floyd, Learning to Fly, A momentery Lapse of Reason]

* A friendly guy with desire to experiment ... Love uncertainity!

* The path of the epicurean man is beset on all sides by the inequity of money and the tyranny of professors.

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of exams, for he is truly his brother's keeper and a finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to slog and relatively grade my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

[A's version of Ezekiel 25:17, Bible]

(I am sure this guy will bring out his own edition of bible, and disbause all the myths, even the ones left behind, if any by the
Davinci code).

* Electrical Resistivity : 22.14 nΩ·m
Thermal Conductivity : 318 W/(m·K)
Young's modulus : 78 GPa
Poisson ratio : 0.44
Elektronegativity : 2.54
Oxidation states : 3,1
Heat of Fusion : 12.5 KJ/mol

(Data insufficient to solve the problem!)

* Such a ordinary person tht ppl are always impressed with my ordinariness..!!

* U don't know me ... hhmmm... even i don't know ... Let's meet and discover together .. :-)

* Ab apni Tareef khud kya karoon!! (Mujhe bhi nahi hain...)

* Am I wild enough to shatter
The winds of your castle yonder
Or sane enough to stand
And help a bit longer
----------------------------
fooooooooooooooooo

(Gone with the wind!)

* -=¤=--=¤=--=¤==¤=--=¤=--=¤=-
≈▒ Wël©ömë Tö M¥ KINGDOM ▒≈
-=¤=--=¤=--=¤==¤=--=¤=--=¤=-


"....See What your Love has done to me....My eyes have learnt to smile..."



Hiii...This is ANIRBAN for u...I am a Simple Taurean with a high EQ and moderate IQ ....I'M an OPEN BOOK...I'm the one who loves to talk ...
One thing is for Sure.... "..LOVE ME or HATE ME... YOU JUST CAN'T IGNORE ME ;) "

Always surrounded by my friends but Still I feel

CRUELLY ALONE

sometimes....God knows Why....

Actually I'm a very caring,sensitive and sentimental person.....


*************************

I have always believed that:

"HELP EVER HURT NEVER..LOVE EVER,
HATE NEVER....GIVE EVER,EXPECT NEVER
SMILE EVER,CRY NEVER...THINK ME EVER
FORGET ME NEVER....."


for rest of me..see my testimonials and yess..Do scrap me if u lyke... ;)

I am a very wellknown person u knw ;) ... see this to believe !!

*
(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´) ¸.·'´)
----«`'·.¸. ¤.¸.·'´»-----
(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`' ·.¸)
----NAUGHTY--BOY----
(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´) ¸.·'´)
----«`'·.¸. ¤.¸.·'´»-----
(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`' ·.¸)

* "A HUNK WITH ANTI HUNK ACTIVITIES " ...typical patient of verbal diarrhea ...but still single......just read my testimonials :d ull find that im a good person

* Orkut says about me:

" Your mentality is alert, practical and analytical. "
(I think
* I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.

* Attitudes are contagious...mine's worth catching!!! (Really kool one!)

* Nothing much just your average agnostic, cynical, hyper-critical, workaholic, obnoxious, unsocial, pig-headed, boorish, day-dreamer, bland, bore, vertically challenged, blabbering and gullible idiotic upstart, with a skewed personality...the kind of nondescript masses you meet every other day and pass-by. Really nothing much to write home about. Average joe with an attitude! (Another attitude type guy...)

* "GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES".....(Yeah she looked nothing more than 4ft5"').

* Very ambitious and forward looking,prime minister in the making. (Bachk ke rehna, we have a gr8 politician in the making!)

* Random variable (Sure a mathematics geek!)

* 007-> Licensed to Kill! (I suppose he is one of James Bond's die hard fans!)

* Muscular, Intelligent, Clever, Ugly and Dangerous (I'm armed).Innocent most of the time ;-P

* Just staring at the world hoping the world stares back at me.

* I think, therefore I am dangerous. (Sure, trust me this guy isn't lying!)

* Read my testimonials ...or contact me to know abt me...dnt trust my scrap book !!! he he he !!!..sum ppl r bound to spoil my clean image !!

* "I want to die at a Hundred Years flying my own SuperSonic Jet at Three Times the Speed of Sound after having surpassed all known barriers of Speed"

* Dimension – I

I don’t know exactly……………
the journey itself seems all pervasive. Let me explain….

“The egoistic consciousness passes through many stages in its emotional expansion. At first it is bound within itself, callous therefore to the experience of others. Afterwards it is sympathetic only with those who are identified in some measure with itself, indifferent to the indifferent, malignant to the hostile. When it overcomes this respect for persons, it is ready for the reception of altruistic principles…” – The supramental manifestation and other writings

In this incremental evolution, somehow I manage to be happy…………..always.

Dimension - II

Gar mujhe iskA yaqIn ho,mEre hamdam mEre dost…
Gar mujhe iskA yaqIn ho kE terE dil kI thakan
TerI Ankhon kI udAsI, tEre sIne kI jalan
MerI dil-ju’i, mEre pyAr se mit-jA’egI;

Gar mErA harf-e-tasalli vo dawA ho jis-se
Ji uthe phir terA ujrA hu’a be-nUr dimAgh,
TerI peshAnI se dhul-jA’en ye tazlil ke dAgh
TerI bImAr jawani ko shifA ho-jA’e

Gar mujhe iskA yaqIn ho, mere hamdam mere dost…

Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Dimension- III

As a child I thought; to be the king is a best thing to do;as a teen I thought to be a sanyasi is the best thing to do.Now I think to do anything best, is the best thing to do.huh……..incremental evolution , though cyclic.

As someone said "U need to be half warrior and half monk"; in this life.yes thats what:)

Dimension - IV

....and I am a Leo.isn't that a signal enough:) (Maamu got u! Your are a sure multidimensional personality!)

* Scroll down... u'll find all about me in my testi....

* If you run, you will only die tired... (of what, running away from u or getting chased by you?)

* [If you know me personally, please skip caution n perhaps you wont need the rest of it too!]

CAUTION: If you want to add me to your friends list BECAUSE you find me/my smile cute/sweet/hot/cool r wtvr, jus STAY
AWAY! I care a damn

[also contemplating between a written entrance test and an 'admission closed' notice!]


a snob, an arrogant, stubborn and highly opinionated girl. If I dont see the possibility of any sensible conversation, i will jus shut up. Or worse, snap up thanks to my sharp tongue!
[This is especially for those strange jobless people who think i am proud/silly/stupid n what not to put all this in my profile, and want to tell me the same n help me correct my self-image(?!):
I am not conducting a public survey on my personality. Keep ur views to urself. Mind your business, and let me mind mine]


believe in enjoying the walk as much as reaching the destination...love the little things in life that bring a smile..a dreamer..wanderer..dreamy wanderer?
'huchchu khOdi manasu...' still holds good!:) obvious-did u say?:))

lazy to the core!
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy:D(check bro's testimonials for more on this!:P)

And more...

In short:
chaos!

(It reminded me of that typical warning boards infront a house, "Beware of Dogs").

* Well 't was the summer of 06
And things happened...

Seen the highs 'n touched the lows...
Experienced the excitement 'n Felt the boredom ...

Took new paths, left some behind...
Finished on a journey, just to start on a new one...

Whr gud nd bad times did mix
Well twas my summer of 06

- 9th June 06.. Rest In Peace...

(Bryan adams lost in the making!)

* And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of.

* Below average chap who enjoys his ignorance! (One who accepts ignorance blissfully!)

* Karne ko hai itna kuch - dam na bhar jaaye,
Jindagi mili hai sirf ek - kahin kam na pad jaaye.
(Shero shayari main mast proficency hai boss!)

* ..

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

..

* okay so this was a pretty dumb way of writing an "about me:"
"well..uhmmm....u better read my testimonials..they say quite a lot about me..."

so i thought its high time i make amends..
now im not asking you to start doubting the authenticity of my testimonials..each word of each one of them is right upto the mark..
thanks guys(again!!) for writing such awesome testimonials..u nailed me!!

so here it goes..this ones straight from the heart..
im a pretty simple, down to earth, honest n hard working guy..
family and friends mean a LOT to me..and i tend to stretch my limits for the ones i care about..
i can say im pretty sensitive and i tend to take things toooo seriously at times..
i am a firm believer in God and i know no matter what he'll always be there watching over me..
also my faith in god, determination and the ability to step up at critical times has helped me reach where i am..
i just love driving and i cant stand liers and south indian food!!
and yeah(as tushar very rightly put it..) im a no nonsense kind of a person
i guess thats pretty much what i have to say "about me:" (for now..)

* Live It To Full ...

हर पल यहाँ जी भर जियो ...

I wanna be simple, don't know whether I am or not

* Loading profile......

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Fully Loaded

Press any key to continue...

I care for those who care for friends.

(I can prove beyond an aorta of doubt, this guy has been insstalling a lot of softwares packages off late!)

* That's me !!! 20.someone !!! (Wow, like the famous best seller 5.someone)

* ??????????????? (Waste of precious web space!)

* TREE SAY CUT ME NOT,
FLOWER SAY TOUCH ME NOT,
DIL SAY BREAK ME NOT,
"I" SAY FORGET ME NOT.

* Guys N Gals I'm OOPS! (Object oriented product!)

* Yaaron ka Yaar, Dushmano ka Dushman... (a serpent!)

* Om purnam-adah purnam-idam

purnaat purnam-udacyate.

purnasya purnam-aadaaya,

purnam-eva-avashishyate
-----------------------------------
That is infinite, this is infinite;

From That infinite this infinite comes.

From That infinite, this infinite removed or added;

Infinite remains infinite.

* that's clandestine rather a savant,adonis,amiable,seducing,and........! and freak of rock music..............!

* Hey guyz I am going to be very busy from now on, fr some time!!
So if any of u donot recieve my scrap.... Plz do not hope that I am dead!!

* I CAN DO NO GR8 THINGS ONLY SMALL THINGS WITH GR8 LUV

* God's favourite child. Been there,done that. Procastination personified.God knows how I managed been there and doing that ;)
:)).
Ziddi to the core.

* Leave THIS...I get confused!!! (Me too...)

* IM WAT IM...:) (Instant Messenger!)

* :-)... :-( .... :-X .... >:-X .... ^ _^ .... :-P.... O:) ... :"> ... :-< ... I-| thtz me..my mood changes often..itz u, who've 2 deal with it.al the
best! (Some real freak...)

* Add me at ur own risk. LOL (Added @ ur own risk!)

* I ask the mirror the same question everyday! Else I read my blog!

* phir kabhi ....fursat mein!! (Tumhari ya hamari?)

* Yet another fully functional instance of homo sapiens: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_sapiens) on my distinguished traits, wait till they have a strand-of-hair (genetic-print) to "about me" translator...

* Ek number ka badmaash..peace loving......crazy abt. swanky cars and super bikes. (Okies that's enough, I am convinced!)

* The best among the anagrams of my name is - "A girl lays him." (Guess his name!)

* under research..............
research is not conducting by scientists it is conducting by my friends...as soon as they finish it ill let u ppl know abt it..
till then if u want to know abt me,ask my friends..they will definatly tell u............

* Well i m a genius and born to rule the world..........just joking! (C'mon don't take us to be so DUMB!)

* Thats the hardest question on the planet and my personal opinions about myself are subject to changes depending on the weather and so on... that would make me quite adaptable and and fun to be with... but i guess u need to know me first... quite down to earth and a bike freak[rx135 modified]... guess that makes me quite independant....

* LOADING plz wait

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Hi m xyz :-). I lik listenin 2 muzzic.... Freaking out wit friends...... Eating... and playin cricket.

And I know karate, kung fu, and 47 other dangerous words. ha ha.... Keep smilin .

Note: DreaM As iF u wiLl LiVe tOmoRRow.. LivE As iF u WiLL Die tomOrroW ;)

(Another techno freak!)


*

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.../... |....|.... (¯ `\
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..\......` ¯..¯ ´......•
...\_ ............ _.•´

...I love to make FRIENDS...I believe life is very short..you should enjoy each and every moment...so,rock da party,

*

........../|/|/|/|/|
..........(^O.O^)
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......(¯¯¯\...\_|/¯¯\__\_______oooooo
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..__./._/.............\._.\__
(____ /.............(_____)

I AM COOLEST OF ALL!!!

PS: Orkut is an ocean of such artistic and hilarious profiles. I have managed to bring to lime light only a few such about me: sections in orkut's user profiles. If u feel u missed out frm the list, feel free to post them here.